CHEMICAL LOVE STORY

THIS MESSAGE I GOT FROM MY FRIEND I THOUGHT I SHOULD SHARE THIS POEM TO MY FRIENDS SPECIALLY CHEMISTRY LOVERS
ENJOY

Na Chemistry Hoti Na Love Hota

Na Chmistry hoti na main Student hota

Na ye Lab hoti Na Ye Accident Hota

Abhi Practical main ayee nazar Ek Larki

Sundar thi Naak Us ki Test Tube Jaisi

Baton main Us ki Glucose ki Mithas thi

Sanson main Ester ki Khushboo bhi sath thi

Aankhon se jhalakta tha kuch is Tarah ka Pyaar

Bin Piye hi ho jata hai Alcohol ka Khumar

Benzene sa hota tha Uski Presence ka Ehsaas

Andhere main hota tha Radium ka Ahsas

Nazrain mileen, reaction hua

Kuch is tarah Love ka Production hua

Lagne lage Us ke Ghar ke Chakkar aise

Nucleus key charon taraf Electron hon jaise

Us din hamare Test ka Confirmation hua

Jab us ke daddy se hamara Introduction hua

Sun kar hamari baat wo aisay Uchal pari

Ignesiun Tube main jaise Sodium Bharak

uthe Wo boli, Hosh main aao, Pahchano apni Auqat

Iron mil nahin sakta kabhi Gold ke saath

Ye sun ker Tuta hamare Armanon Bhara Beaker

Aur hum Chup rahay Benzaldehyde ka Karwa Ghoont pee ker

Ab us ki yadon ke siwa hamara Kam chalta na tha

Aur Lab main hamare Dil ke siwa kuch jalta na tha

Zindagi ho gayee Unsaturated Hydrocarbon ki Tarah

Aur ham phirte hain Awara Hydrogen ki Tarah

Killing English

Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette... ? "

Class teacher once said : " pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

once Hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to America.."

"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

Dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said " why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

Teacher in a furious mood... write down ur name and father of ur name!!

"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

My manager started like this "Hi, I am Pinky, Married with two kids"

"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board

"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"

LIBRARIAN SCOLDED ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

Chemistry HOD comes and tells us.... "My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"

Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code.. "I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class.. "Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

Girls profiles taken from shaadi . com

Ultimate.... ......... ....I bet u can't stop laughing. These are Girls profiles taken from shaadi . com These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!

Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail...

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- Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore.. if u like me u welcome to my heart...when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..Thanks yours Regards Sowmya
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i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework (Wut Homework?)
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I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i.Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand forever !!! (The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
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i am simple girl. I have lot of problemin my life because of my lucknow i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot (I don't know why but this is one of my favorites) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast (by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION 3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH. (all of us are loughing {laughing})

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whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would be called the man of the lamp (I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)

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i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok (I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from "Ok-syndrome")
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i am pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & mother sister completely married (somebody please explain in comments section how to get married 'completely' ?)~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes (height of desperation! )
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i am kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.(No comments)

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hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily. i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ... (but credit cards not accepted..?? ?)~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service. (Zebra..???)

20 Rules in any office

1. Rule 1. - The Boss is always right.

2. Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.

3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.

4. Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.

5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

6.. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.

8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it...

12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

13.. Following the rules will not get the job done.

14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous" .

16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing..

18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.

19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.

20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE

Ø Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Ø Speak only in a "robot" voice.
Ø Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
Ø Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Ø Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for violating your airspace".
Ø Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
Ø Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
Ø Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
Ø Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Ø Drum on every available surface.
Ø Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ø Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
Ø Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
Ø Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
Ø Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
Ø As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Ø Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
Ø Sing along at the opera.
Ø Ask people what gender they are. Laugh loudly after their answer.

MEAN WHAT YOU SAY !!!

“Priya, I’m Leaving,” says Raj as he leaves for work. She runs out but he is already gone. She spends the whole day assuming that Raj left annoyed because he spoke with authority & left without waiting for her. She does not make time to check & things go worse in that silence.

Often you end up sharing such a frame with family, boss or friends in a lifetime, little realizing the magic of communication & the need to bring clarity. But as a day’s activity if you sit to make a list of miscommunications you have had, you will end up writing down at least five. It might be something the milkman said or the best friend pointed out. In other words, how often do you misinterpret what has been said or done, just because you do not know how to communicate properly or got the other person terribly wrong ?

In the end you make assumptions based on your own, perhaps in a narrow perspective & not take into account what others might be feeling or thinking. Even, you forget the fact that they have had a bad day or they were lost in thought so they failed to respond to you or did not think before they spoke. There are many ways in which you can interpret a simple statement by changing the emphasis on a particular word. The slightest change in your tone, facial expression or the body language in general, can find you conveying a totally different meaning to others.

Effective communication is thus all about conveying your messages to other people clearly & unambiguously, and to clear all the air of confusion & conflicts. It is also about receiving information that others are sending to you, with as little distortion as possible & it involves effort from both the sender of the message & the receiver. In fact how to communicate is something you need to learn early on in life & with time you become better & better at it. But if you miss the bus or do not know how to do it properly or get it wrong, it can lead to poor communication throughout the rest of your life. The end result will be, you may get into bad habits of thinking, brooding & hurting yourself & loved ones around you. The discomfort that you feel ends in a suffocating self-imposed silence to avoid conflicts or argument.

Mastering the skills of talking & saying what you feel is important in maintaining good relationships, not only in your personal life but also with the people you interact with at different situations. If you cannot tell someone how you feel, it is not right on your part to expect them to know what is going on. Finally we are just mortal beings, not trained in mind reading. To a great extent, your interpretation of the world around you is dependent on your background, behaviour, customs, practices, beliefs & values; and is also the case of people you communicate with. The roots are so deep in your growing up that it influences the 5Ws & 1 H of Why, What, When, Where, Who & How, you think. Before you end up being myopic & conclude & pass a judgement on people, tell yourself to get a clear picture.

Once you have decided to open up as a primary rule, lock your ego in the shelf & and accept what others have to say, think or feel about what you said; & when this reality bites do not be judgemental. Time has always been a healer & as minutes, hours, days go by, things fall in place. Above all, along with being genuine, be honest too. Also tell yourself, “When in doubt ask to clear the air”. It takes hardly anything if you ask & understand something correctly. At least you can keep the understanding that can arise from the assumption you have made about what has bee said or meant at bay. Again, in communication along with speaking, listening is equally important. But listening should not be for the sake of it. Before you jump the gun, listen to what others are saying. For a while, forget about how you might be feeling, and try putting yourself in their shoes.

Be it the office or home, work or something personal, if you feel the need to say something that is important or bogging you down, squeeze out time to free your mind & then discuss it. At the end of the discussion it should not be more confusion & misunderstanding caused by a cluttered mind. Your existence is as unique as the people around you. While living in harmony the universal principle remains live & let live. Remember, people are not out to get you; if you think something is amiss, give them the benefit of doubt & a chance to clarify. It is easy to spoil relationships but building one is the art of communication.

Cyclic confusion

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad,so make arrangement.
Secretary makes call to Husband: For a week my boss andI will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is goingabroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.
Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is givingprivate tution: I have work for a week, so you neednot come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for aweek I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Letsspend the week together.
Grandpa make call to his secretary: This week I amspending my time with my grandson. We cannot attendthat meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my bosshas some work, we cancelled our trip.
Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spendthis week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is givingprivate tution: This week we will have class as usual.
Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, myteacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry Ican't give you company.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry thisweek we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement .